Oral
Interpretation Prose presentation
Barbara Benac
December 4, 2001
Caroline and The Staten Island Fairy
The
Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy. For generations, parents have been
saddled with the responsibility of maintaining the fictions of childhood for
those few magical years of their children's lives when fantasy visitors
regularly come to call. But when fiction bumps into reality, trouble
follows. Here is a tale about how
the Tooth Fairy was once schmoozed into continued good service to the very last
of a long line of children.
For decades the nine Benac children have
been serviced by a very special lady, Maxine, the Tooth Fairy. Maxine, a
willowy if ditsy blonde with a penchant for wearing short skirts and loud
colors, fake eyelashes, and big earrings, hails from the borough of Staten
Island, New York, and has been dubbed by the Benac Clan as the Staten Island
Fairy.
How
did the Staten Island Fairy make her identity known? Before their move to Texas, most of the Benac children were
raised in New Canaan, CT, a suburb of New York City. One night, when Mrs. Benac
was carefully removing a tooth-bearing envelope from under the pillow of a
child who was supposed
to be sleeping, the child awoke and challenged her mother, "Hey, what are you
doing with my tooth envelope? I left that for the tooth fairy!"
Quick
thinking was required of the weary mother. "Don't worry, the tooth fairy is out
in the hall right now. Even as we speak she's out there. She's just shy, and
didn't have the nerve to come in. Her name is... Maxine, and she's just outside
your door. No really,
you have to believe me! This is
what she told me:"
"Oh,
Mrs. Benac, I'm so glad to see you out here. I'm Maxine, from Staten Island.
I'm your children's tooth fairy, but I have little problem and its getting
worse. You know, I love your children, but there are so many of them and they
make me a little nervous.
Please don't make me go in there!
It seems like every time I come out here there's another one of them,
and I just can't handle this sneaking around any more! I'll cut you a deal. I'll give you the
goods to put under the kid's pillow for me, and you can keep the tooth as a
souvenir. I won't toss it up in the sky to turn into a star or any of that
stuff. It's yours, no questions asked!"
Is it a deal?
"So
that is why you see Mommy here instead of the tooth fairy! Don't worry, Darling. Maxine is right
out there in the hall. Mommy is helping her!"
Maxine
became a well-loved member of the family, albeit an unseen entity. The children
especially loved the notes she left under their pillows, which became part of
the Benac Family literary heritage. Is it any wonder that when they became
able, they responded with some compositions of their own directed at the blonde
bombshell?
After
the family moved to Texas, necessitating an arduous journey for the
long-suffering Maxine from New York to Dallas, where the family had relocated,
the Staten Island Fairy was at her wit's end. The last child, 11-year-old
Caroline, was losing teeth at the most inconvenient times and Maxine was
getting frazzled. It was showing
in her tense notes:
Hey,
you! Another tooth out already? I just got back up to the Island and now I have
to turn around and come down again?
It's not like I can just hop on the BQE and I'm there, for crying out
loud! Give me a month or two, please, kid! This commuting is a real drag! Why
did your father ever move you to Texas anyway?
Caroline,
fearing the worst, decided she'd better butter up the Fairy, and left the
following message under her pillow:
Dearest,
most graceful, delicate, beautiful, fantastic, talented, wonderful, prompt,
kind, gracious, smart, forgiving, and most importantly, absolutely supreme over
all other of your virtues, generous Maxine,
I have been instructed to sweet-talk you into making a generous donation to the
Caroline Benac Fund. I have chosen to be straightforward, instead of beating
around the bush and doing the whole flattering thing as you are far too
intelligent, cunning, educated, and sharp to be taken in by any amount of a
mere child's flattery. Anyway, a woman of countless virtues such as yourself
will immediately see that I am not an ordinary child, oh no, I am quite the
contrary.
I like to spend my free time in museums where I drag my mother along so as to
make sure she has at least some cultural backing. I believe that summer should
be a time for learning so I ask my mother cordially (it does not become me to
beg) if I might make use of my time by making quilts for small children and
reading uplifting novels so as to broaden my vocabulary. I believe that a mind
is a terrible thing to waste and I am sure that you will agree with me when I
say that the way the average child spends their summer is disgusting and wrong.
I have no other dream for the world but for everyone to be fed and clothed and I
intend to pay full tithing to the church for that cause. I think that every
penny counts in things like this and I praise the American Red Cross for their
work in third world countries and the undying devotion those workers show to
the people they are helping. Those are the true heroes. So
as you now see that I am the enlightened sort of person I hope you will also
see the benefits to the world that will come from bestowing me with a most
generous reward bearing in mind the intense pain and suffering and cupfuls of
blood that came with the expulsion of this tooth. Furthermore, I would think it
very silly indeed to travel all the way to the great state of Texas if you do
not plan on leaving a reasonable amount under my pillow and I would also feel
very wronged indeed if all that pain brought but a quarter. Please consider all
the information provided here before you decide on a definite sum.
Yours truly, Caroline Taylor
Benac
PS There were 461
words in this letter including this note.
For the first time in Benac Family history, a twenty-dollar bill was left under the
pillow of the littlest Benac. But
you didn't heah it frum me!